Menopause isn't spoken about enough due to the stigma associated with sex and youth. It is completely normal, and starting the conversation with those you're closest to, can open new doors to support channels. A few simple openers can make the first conversation easier.

Why it can feel hard

Many of us grew up hearing little about menopause. Some of our mothers suffered in silence, worrying about being judged or embarrassed. In some families and cultures, people simply don’t talk about it. Whatever the reason, you are in control and have the right to choose who you tell, when, and how much.

With your partner

Your partner will likely be the first person to notice the changes you are going through. Changes in sleep, mood or interest in sex are all symptoms of perimenopause and menopause, and can affect a relationship. Talking with your partner can help them understand it isn’t about them and help you work toward a new phase in your relationship.

You can start the conversation by picking the right time (low-stress, comfortable), and raise a simple opener, like:

• “I’ve been reading about perimenopause and a lot of it sounds familiar. Can I tell you about it?”

• “I’m not sleeping well, and it’s making me short-tempered. I wanted you to know why.”

• “Would you have a look at this with me?”

For more information, The Menopause Connection has a great resource for talking to your partner. The NSW Government has a guide written for partners and families that you can share.

 

With family and friends

You might not be the only one who is wondering about these changes. Friends and family your age might be asking similar questions. Older women in your family might be able to share details about their experience and what worked for them. Opening the conversation creates room for advice and a new support system. You can try:

• “Did you have hot flushes? I’m trying to work out what’s normal.”

• “I’m going through some changes at the moment so I might need a bit of patience.”

At work

You have no obligation to tell anyone at work what you’re going through. However, if you feel like your symptoms are impacting your ability to work, a conversation with your manager or HR team can help you identify what support is available. Some workplaces have a menopause or wellbeing policy, so it's worth checking your organisation’s information bank.

If you need or want to raise it with your manager, you could try:

• "I'm dealing with a health issue that's affecting my sleep. Could we talk about flexibility with my start time?"

• "Do we have a policy on menopause, or on health and wellbeing?"

With your doctor

Your doctor sees women like you almost every day. You don’t need to dance around or hide the issue when discussing it with them. Saying: “I think I might be in perimenopause, and I’d like to talk about it today,” is completely normal and okay. Our Prepare pathway has more tips for this conversation.

If you're supporting someone

If someone close to you is navigating these changes, take the time to listen and learn about what’s happening to them. Your support could mean the world to them, and you never know unless you try.

Listen, learn a little about what’s happening, and ask what would help. The Australian Government has a fact sheet for partners, family and friends.

 

Where to from here

• Understanding menopause for partners and families (NSW Government)

• Menopause in the workplace, with fact sheets for employees and managers (NSW Government)

• Supporting someone through perimenopause and menopause (Australian Government)

• Ready to make some time for yourself? Head to Prioritise.

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